Why I don't generally like Historical Movies

The impression that I have of historical movies is formed on the basis of the very few good and the truck load of bad (such as Troy, Alexander, Gladiator, Kingdom Of Heaven etc) historical movies that I have been subjected to. My problems with these historical are as follows:
Alexander
1. The soldiers of Porus were fighting with weapons which were so exotic that no Indian has ever seen them.
2. Darius was portrayed as either dumb or as someone refereeing a game of Basketball (Not sure if those gestures can be used anywhere else).
3. The famous line attributed to Porus was mouthed by the daughter of Darius.
4. Wasting the talents of Anthony Hopkins in this offering which logically speaking belongs in the gutters.
Troy
1. Orlando Bloom should enroll himself in acting classes and stop inflicting his non-existent acting skills on the audience.
2. Brad Pitt being casted as Achilles (This single move shoved Odysseus in the background as some sort of a sidekick).
3. How on Earth did the battle get over in less than a week?
4. Where exactly are the Greek gods who supposedly played such a key role in the battle of Troy?
5. Can’t the legendary heroes come up with some original lines instead of uttering cliched lines which belong in a Chuck Norris/Van Damme movie?
But then, watching the Monty Python series gives me some hope that great historical can indeed be made (As long as the mainstream Hollywood stays away from it).