Monday, May 31, 2010

What kind of world do we inhabit?

Just five minutes back, I read a statement by IIM Kozhikode's director in which he says that women make better managers than men.
Did any uproar follow that? Hell no.
But then wasn't there a huge uproar when Lawrence H. Summers said this.
I mean, how on earth are these statements any different (except for one small difference).

So basically it boils down to this, you can speak your mind only as long as you are praising/criticising only a certain part of the society.

Which brings us to the million dollar question: "What kind of world do we inhabit?".

One whose defining characteristic is hypocrisy.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

The White Tiger

Two days wasted, forty eight hours of my life that I am not going to get back. 48 hours that could have been better spent either sleeping or even watching some mindless Bollywood masala film. These were my initial reactions after reading this Booker prize winning work by Arvind Adiga.

Let’s just try to be objective for a few minutes and evaluate this book on a few parameters:

Setting:
Imagine you are a journalist and you want to write about Bihar, you could either actually go to Bihar or visit a slum in your city and set that up as Bihar. Mr. Adiga has done the latter. The setting in this novel is as unrealistic as it gets. Here is why I think so:

1. If a village in Bihar has even an open drain, then it isn’t one of the most backward villages in Bihar simply because in the most backward villages; there isn’t a drainage system to speak of. Wait a minute, haven’t I seen an open drain somewhere. Actually I have, but each of those open drains is in Bangalore and from what I know, Mr. Adiga is a Kannadiga. Lazy journalism anyone.

2. “Kissing a god’s arse”. Where the hell did this expression come from? I am totally clueless here. I have spent a majority of my life in a hostel (read away from my parents), and I both know and have used almost every invective in vogue. I seriously doubt if the translated version of this expression has an equivalent in any Indian language. Why this expression has been used will be clearer in the second half of this post, hopefully.

3. A devout Muslim masquerading as a Hindu and staying in a Hindu household: Mr. Adiga, you can hide the dates concerned by not revealing them to your
audience; but sirjee ”real” people would notice if somebody fasts for a whole month at a stretch (Especially if it is the month of Ramadan and the people are as bigoted as the Zamindars mentioned in the novel).

4. Has the author ever been to a police station in Bangalore? I once went there to lodge a complaint. This is precisely what I was told, “Tum North Indians Bangalore aana, aur humaari jobs lena. Tumhaara Saaman chori hona to kiski galti hona, tumhari galti hona ya Police ki galti hona.” (You North Indians come to Bangalore and take our jobs. If you lose some of your belongings, then is it your fault or is it the fault of the Police?) Imagine a scenario where a North Indian’s employee is actually accused of murdering a Bangalorean in Bangalore; it’s anybody’s guess as to how friendly the Police would be.

Language: The language used in the novel is pedestrian at best. I can name dozens of people (engineers / phd students etc) who can write better than this so called author. Enough said on this.

Characters: One-dimensional. Straight out of a 50s/60s Bollywood flick. Other than the narrator and his employer (the one he murders), almost all of the characters are
unreal.

Having read this piece of garbage, and I am still being charitable to this so called novel, I was left wondering as to how did it win the Booker prize. That’s when the
cynic in my analyzed this novel’s success by using some of the basic concepts of marketing.

Segmentation and Targeting: The way I see it, there are three groups of people who are going to read this “offering”

1. Bihari: I have sub-segmented India into two simply because most of India has never been to Bihar, and isn’t likely to go there anytime soon. So as long as the depiction is ghastly enough, some of the audience may buy it. But I seriously doubt if any Bihari can identify with the way Bihar has been depicted here. This novel definitley doesn't target any Bihari.

2. Rest of India: They may buy what is written about Bihar, but selling them stories regarding Bangalore and Gurgaon is slightly difficult. Even if it were
true, selling us a story we all know isn’t going to work. Once again, not the target audience.


3. Foreigners: This is where the author has hit the jackpot. I mean most of this segment has never been to India and all they know about India is from movies like Slumdog Millionaire, Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom etc. They aren’t likely to have a problem in identifying with a character who mouths lines about kissing someone’s arse, after all the origin of that expression is Western.

Positioning: This book seems to be positioned as a “primer on India for dummies”. What is really unfortunate is that the Booker prize committee seems to have one too many dummies on its list.



It is a well marketed novel and it does a good job of continuing from where Slumdog Millionaire left off. Even amongst its target audience, anyone with an IQ in double/triple digits should have stayed far away from this book. But, apparently not too many did.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Whom Should Manchester United Buy

The year was 2005. Chelsea had just won the EPL title. It had been the second year running that United hadn’t won anything. Sir Alex and Manchester United responded by buying an exceptionally classy yet slightly under-rated goalkeeper from Fulham. In
the January’s transfer window, United bought two defenders in Patrice Evra and Nemanja Vidic.

Chelsea did go on to win EPL in 2005-06 as well, but at least in the second half of the season; United for the first time in many years started to look like a team that was capable of challenging for major honors. United went on to win three EPLs in a
row, a feat no other club has ever accomplished. Now let’s take a look at the season that ended just a few days back.

Forwards: Rooney and Valencia were exemplary, Nani was a revelation, Giggs was damn good. The likes of Macheda, Welbeck, Obertan are ones for the future. Our forwards did reasonably well, considering the fact that we lost two world class forwards
(Cristiano Ronaldo and Tevez). It has been suggested that United is a one man team (with Rooney being the one man); but then weren’t we called a one man team last year as well (Last time it was Ronaldo, apparently Rooney wasn’t good enough in the
opinion of some people). I have no complaints with our forwards whatsoever.

Midfield: Our midfield has been the weak link for a really long time. Ever since Roy Keane left United, and maybe even during his last year at United can be included; our midfield has been relatively lightweight. Carrick is an ok player at best.
Scholes can’t be expected to perform at a high level every week. Anderson has flattered to deceive. Fletcher has exceeded expectations. Hargreaves has been conspicuous by his absence (His absence really hurts as we lose a free kick specialist, not to mention a world class defensive midfielder). We desperately need some reinforcements in this area. Unfortunately world class midfielders are rarely on the market, and when they are then their price is grossly inflated. We may have to settle for a promising youngster or maybe we can get a Stephen Ireland or Joe Cole hopefully.

Defence: This is one area where we seemed to be well covered. But when Murphy’s Law struck, this was the area which caused us so much trouble that at one time we were playing with just one recognized defender. God willing and injuries permitting, we
should be fine here.

GoalKeeper: What if Ben Foster had not made a hash of the opportunities given to him? Well, we would have been champions of England and he would be going to the world cup instead of making the switch to Birmingham City.

In Edwin Van Der Saar, we have one of the best keepers in the world. But it’s highly unlikely that he would play for more than 1-2 years, and it is even more unlikely that he would remain injury free for these 1-2 years. What we need is a good/world-class replacement, unfortunately what we have are two goalkeepers who just aren’t good enough. Just like in 2005, we should be on the prowl for a good keeper if we are to wrest EPL back from Chelsea.

Sir Alex Ferguson has said many times that he has all the funds he needs. But the proof of the pudding is in the eating, what kind of funds are available to him can be judged by the kind of signings he makes in the midfield and goalkeeping positions.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Do facts matter?

While watching the Lalit Modi vs Shashi Tharoor saga being played on the television, I couldn’t help reflecting on the frivolity of the exercise. The news channels were all bringing new facts in this case. Did those new facts make any difference to the viewers?

The point is, either you believed Shashi Tharoor or you did not (At least the first few acts of this play were about him before the government machinery got into overdrive). There were three kinds of people viewing these events.

1. Those who believed that Shashi Tharoor was telling the truth.
2. Those who believed that he was lying.
3. Those who didn’t care.

Since the media didn’t bring anything which could be classified as a game changer or something which could be called a clinching piece of evidence, people who were in any of the above three categories stayed right there; no matter what new facts were brought to light by the media (People were suggesting that Tharoor may not have to resign if Pushkar surrenders the sweat equity but the moment she did that, BJP said that it was conclusive proof that she was a proxy for Tharoor).

Bottomline is that the facts don’t matter, what we perceive to be facts do.

Why I hate the movie Rang De Basanti

I don’t hate Rang De Basanti because it propounds violence as a means to make your point.

I don’t hate it because its ending was a total rip-off from The Boondock Saints.

What I really dislike about this movie is that it has given rise to a bunch of sanctimonious people who can alternatively be referred to as the “be the change” generation. The moment you say that there is something wrong with your college/country/pretty much anything else, these people are at your throats asking you to either raise it in a proper forum (only god knows what that is), or you would be told that either you should change the system or keep your mouth shut (Have they considered the possibility that there may not be a system left if each one of the 1.2billion odd people strived to change it).

So the rest of us are not allowed to whine about anything, but these people are allowed to whine about our whining. As it is a case of selective trampling of right to freedom of speech, I see shades of communism in these people.

Bollywood should not even try to make movies that have a message, and this particular movie tells us why.

Acer strikes back

The second visit to Acer was a little less pleasant as compared to the first visit, primarily because during the first visit I didn’t have the guts to entrust my laptop to them. Unfortunately I didn’t have the luxury of that choice this time around. There is only so much you can do with a laptop once you can’t even switch it on. And Acer has been kind enough to have just one repair center for the whole of Bangalore.

I gave them my laptop and I was asked to collect it later in the day. They promised to call me up and inform me once the power button was replaced, something they didn’t bother to do. I had neither asked nor requested them to call me once it was done, so why exactly did they make a commitment they had absolutely no intention of keeping is beyond me.

2 Hours Later

Anyways, I went back to collect my laptop. At times, I haven’t bothered to properly inspect my car once it has been returned by the service center, but somehow I didn’t feel that I could afford to make this mistake here.

I switched the laptop on (Thankfully the power button was working), but I just couldn’t click on the “logon” icon. I pointed it out to the person who had supposedly replaced the power button. His prompt reply was, “Sir, your OS is corrupted and therefore you are facing this problem”. WTF (Yes, I said that). Needless to state that this innovative piece of bullshit kick-started a brief exchange of words in which he tried to give all kind of bull explanations (I would much rather not repeat any of what I told him). Finally he made the mistake of trying to move from the realm of bull to facts.

He said that “I can prove it to you that your laptop’s operating system is corrupt and this is the reason the mouse is not working“. Obviously I didn’t let this opportunity pass. It would take some serious amount of technical skills to prove that the root-cause of an issue like this is a corrupt OS, and frankly speaking someone incapable of replacing a power button properly (and which is incidentally his job) is unlikely to possess such skill.

I said earlier that he tried to move from the realm of bull to facts. Actually I was wrong. He had moved from bull to bull++. His new arguments were twofold.

1. He said that he had tried it out and that the mouse works properly in the safe mode and therefore my OS is corrupt. (WTF)
2. The power button had nothing to do with the mouse and therefore I shouldn’t blame him for that. (Yeah right. I give you a laptop that works, you return me one that doesn’t and I shouldn’t blame you for that. Fortunately for me, this clown had actually logged into my system and hence he couldn’t claim that it wasn’t working earlier.)
I asked him to prove that that the mouse works properly in the safe mode. He tried. Actually he kept trying for the next 5 minutes.

30 minutes later

He came back with my laptop, and it was working. I was informed that while cleaning the laptop, somehow one of the cables was dis-connected and this was the cause of the problem. I logged in and in my opinion I checked it thoroughly.

2 Days later

I couldn’t use the mouse to scroll. :D

One part of me wants to go back there and give them a mouthful. The other part of me is reminding me of an old saying in Hindi, “Bhaagte bhoot ki langot bhali” .

Monday, April 19, 2010

STP analysis of Consumer Behavior

Segmentation:

If you are looking for diversity in any course at IIMB, then look no further than ConB. Segmenting them is nigh impossible but, hopefully due to my enhanced “globe” skills thanks in no small part to ConB and Rambo, I will make an honest attempt here. The eclectic bunch of students in ConB can be classified as follows:

1. Marketing fanatics
2. Finance hopefuls: These are the sorry bunch of folks who had the minimum possible bid points left and were therefore forced to select the elective ConB.
3. Masochists
4. Deaf: Anybody who kept his/her ears open knew that unless you intended to experience Ahmedabad at Bangalore, you were well advised to stay away from this course.
5. Idiots: My favorite, simply because I am in this category. Having slept through the summer placement process, I believed that I was almost stress-proof. Have I ever been more wrong, ever in my life?

Targeting:

Statutory warning: Anyone not belonging to segment 1 would do well to stay away from the course, unless of course you are in segment 3. Folks in segment 3 may be under the erroneous impression that they are in for a treat; please be forewarned that the experience may prove to be a bit too overwhelming (and that is a gross understatement).

Positioning:

To understand what we have gained and others did not (I know using “gained” is a case of a very wrong choice of word), we would need to understand the positioning of ConB with respect to other subjects.

If I had a penny for each time he said “Either I can teach you or I can be nice to you”, I would still be in penury. The 200 odd pages long course guideline does not even hint at what was in store for us. Sorry, my mistake. It does, but no one I know has read it end to end. Maybe our junior batch will have a prequel course next year, which would test their proficiency at the course guidelines.

Mentioning other courses in the same breath as ConB is blasphemy, and I refuse to indulge in heresy by doing so. Suffice it to say that it is a multi-dimensional course which will open your “globe chakshu” like no other.

Monday, April 5, 2010

The latest twist

As always, the unkindest cut always comes from people closest to you.
Poor Shoaib Malik.

He got kicked in his nuts by his own countrymen (As if Aaj tak and Indiatimes had not done enough already). Apparently, Women's rights activists in Pakistan are now trying to defend him. Either this is the first time that the women's rights activists are speaking on an issue and defending a man, or this is a case of what I think it is.

Now I am left wondering about the connection between Shoaib Akhtar's genital warts and Shoaib Malik's gender.

P.S.: For god's sake, get married already and spare us from any more of this "Tamaasha".

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Rambo Begins

“Though many Rambos there be; great, big and small. Our Rambo, to his students, is the scariest of them all.”

The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live here who remember it. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for five long years, ConB and Rambo passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, ConB and Rambo ensnared another batch. Our batch.

We had heard no stories about him, and that seemed to add to his aura. He started his first class by ‘thanking us for taking his course’. That should have set the alarm bells ringing. Hell, that should have sent us running to the Acad council; begging them to let us drop this course. Since we were still there in the second class, the prof correctly surmised that we weren’t too bright. At the end of the first class, Viru Bhau (showing the kind of enthu/chul/keeda that he reserves only for the marketing courses) showed the temerity to walk up to Rambo and state that “Sir, why do you insist so much on definitions?”. I would have used the word explosion to describe the next class, but the word explosion would fall woefully short of expressing the magnitude of what followed. I can’t even describe what happened in that class (My fingers can type, but they didn’t witness the incident. And my eyes saw that incident, but they are incapable of typing.).

That was when we knew that we were facing “The Rambo” himself.

Case Presentation 1: There was no lull, there was no storm; this was Rambo at his best. Even time slowed down to see the master at work. The voice was softer than that of Marlon Brando, but the effect was 100 times more sinister. If the presenting groups were to be hanged, drawn, and quartered after that, well that would have been a mercy.

There was a time when he wasn’t known as Rambo, back then he was plain SRK. How he came to be known as Rambo is what the rest of this blog is about. This scene is set a few months after the events of Rambo-3. John Rambo disregarded some sane and well-meant advice from his seniors and dared to take SRK’s course.

Encounter1
Day: Monday, Time: 2:30:01, Venue:L-11, Setting: John Rambo enters the class
SRK: Who are you?
John Rambo: Your worst nightmare.
SRK: Please come to the next class.

Encounter2
Day: Tuesday, Time: 2:30:00, Venue:L-11, Setting: John Rambo enters the class
SRK(addressing the class): You see, he seems to derive hedonistic pleasure in coming late to the class.
John Rambo: I am on time. Why are you pushing me?
SRK: Do you know the definition of pushing? Do you know what Philip Kotler has said about it?
(John Rambo takes his knife out of his boots.)
SRK: You have not done any analysis of the situation at all. Even a first level analysis would have told you that knives don’t work on me. A second level analysis would have told you that you are about to get your ass whopped.

What followed was legen- wait for it-dary.

Since then, John Rambo is known to babble stuff like “Sometimes I wake up and I don't know where I am. And I don't talk to anybody. Sometimes a day. Sometimes a week. Can't put it out of my mind.”, “I spent six months as a prisoner of war in Vietnam, but I have never felt so thoroughly violated.”. He ran away, a broken man, and spent the rest of his life acting in B-grade Hollywood movies.

This was the fateful day when a fake Rambo died and “The Rambo” was born.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Hypocrisy and our political class

Somebody once said that Diplomacy is the art of the possible. Actually he got it wrong. It’s actually hypocrisy which is the art of the possible.

Case in Point: The behavior of the “honorable” members of our parliament. Logic does take a back seat in our country’s politics. But yesterday it was ushered out of the arena itself. I am by no means a supporter of the latest bill on reservation, and the sole reason I am supporting this bill is because of the kind of people who are opposing this bill. (Being a Bihari and having graduated from Allahabad I can’t support anything either Mulayam or Lalu think is right. When both of them agree on something, well then my decision is set in stone.)

Instance 1:
Our parliament does not have reservation for OBCs, minorities (a euphemism in our political circles for muslims). Now suddenly when the women’s reservation bill was introduced, if it does not have separate reservation for OBCs, minorities; the great politicians from the cow belt denounce it as being anti-this, anti-that. Why don’t our honorable MPs start by demanding reservations for OBC in the parliament itself?

Instance2:
Not allowing the debates to take place in parliament is democratic (someone please tell them the meaning of the word parliament), but using marshals to evict these troublemakers from the parliament is undemocratic.

Instance3:
When students protest against reservations, then they are either “manuvadi” or casteist. But when these clowns do the same, then they are democratic.

Hypocrisy thy synonym is politicians especially politicians from the cow belt.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Coincidence

Over time I have noticed a few curious coincidences between the fortunes of the English football team and India’s Hockey team.

1. I will start with a weak one. Every four years, they are expected to win the world cup; when realistically speaking they would be lucky to get anywhere near the semi-finals.

But the major similarities between these teams are not in terms of what they do on the field, but what they end up doing off the field (i.e. injuries, off-field distractions).

2. 1998 Football World Cup: Gazza, the best English player in god knows how many generations, is not selected to play in the world cup. Why did the Brits even bother to send a team if Gazza wasn’t going to be there.

1998 Hockey World Cup:
Rajiv Mishra, a forward who had “a legend in the making” written all over him, gets injured right before the world cup (What happened to him after that is the reason why India no longer wins anything in hockey, but that is another story).

3. 2002 Football World Cup: A clearly half fit David Beckham led England in the World Cup. There is no shame in losing to Brazil, but the manner of their capitulation was shameful.

2002 Hockey World Cup: Disaster struck in the form of the coach (read Cedric D’Souza).

4. 2006 Football World Cup: Rooney’s injury and the whole media circus that surrounded it. And to top it all, their manager’s huge gamble in taking Theo Walcott to the world cup when he wasn’t deemed good enough to play in the EPL by Arsene Wenger.

2006 Hockey World Cup:
This is what happened to Sandeep Singh a month before the world cup.

5. English manager tries to cut a deal with a phoney-arab and is caught with his pants down.

Secretary of Indian Hockey Federation accepts money on camera to ensure that one player was selected in the Indian hockey team.

6. 2010 Football World Cup: Escapades of John Terry, Ashley Cole. Injury to Rio Ferdinand (he has been out of form in any case).

2010 Hockey World Cup: Players are forced to boycott a hockey camp just to ensure that they are paid for playing in tournaments which were held months ago. Then the players are accused of demanding money to play in a charity match.


And in both these cases, we have an administration whose defining characteristic is their incompetence.

Monday, February 22, 2010

A case for JND in Taxation

Latest news reports suggest that the government is planning to increase taxes. Hardly surprising, considering the proliferation in the number of government programs; which help our country by a miniscule amount (in quantitative terms) but aid the Swiss banking industry in a big way. Our fiscal deficit has hit double-digits and although our government officials would love to pretend that everything is hunky dory, only a rank moron would actually buy that.

I am not surprised by the fact that the government is planning to increase taxes but what worries me is the manner in which they are going to do that. I must confess that I am worried by the fact that I will have to pay more taxes. But that’s not the only reason why I am worried. I am worried more by the fact that if this government keeps raising taxes and cutting subsidies, then they may not win the next general elections. Years ago, BJP had described Congress as a ‘terrible alternative’. Unfortunately for BJP, that’s a description which suits them more these days. So we have a choice between a group of people whose tongues have the propensity to lick the boots of a certain Italian lady and a group of people who like to travel in chariots once every five years (and that’s being charitable to them). I never thought that I would ever support a Congress led government, but in this case I would prefer status quo.

So I have no doubt in my mind that the government is going to fleece me and still I want them to stay in power (Please feel free to call me a masochist). Now that my allegiance for the foreseeable future is clear, in my opinion this is how the government should go about fleecing the people of this country.

‘Just Noticeable Difference’ is a concept which can save the day for the government. ‘Just Noticeable Difference’ (JND) is defined as the smallest detectable difference between a starting and secondary level of a particular sensory stimulus. To keep a long story short, the government should increase the taxes, in each tax bracket, by an amount which is just slightly less than the JND for the majority of the people in that tax bracket. If they keep doing that over the next five years, some of us may not notice it even if our tax bill doubles over the next five years!!!!

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. To find out the JND for each tax bracket, the government can conduct a survey which would in turn offer them umpteen opportunities to increase the number of zeros in their Swiss bank account. Who said that you can’t have your cake and eat it too?

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Post-MBA Job Opportunities

For some time I have been wondering about the various available options after my MBA.

Marketing: The art of selling junk, semi-junk and at times a usable product as well.

Consultancy: Writing crap and masquerading it in such a manner that your client feels that he has been endowed with pearls of wisdom.

Finance: The art and science of creating mathematical models which obfuscate the truth beyond recognition, thereby ensuring that you keep getting richer while your clients file for bankruptcy.

Systems: Similar to marketing, but a pre-requisite for this job is a thick skin.

Operations: Actual work, for a change.

I hope some Operations firms turn up at my college. At least then I will have a shot at earning my wages.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Fool Proof Security

I don' understand why people keep talking about foolproof security.
Do they mean that our security agencies are full of fools? Or do they mean that the people challenging the security apparatus of this country are fools (Actually they have shown on more than one occasion that they are at least as smart as our security forces)?

Maybe if our politicians and police force start working on an intelligent-proof/genius-proof security, then we could start hoping against hope for a safer country.

Monday, February 8, 2010

World Cup Predictions

Four years have passed. A new world cup is about to commence. Even as a supporter of Netherland’s team, I don’t believe that they have a realistic chance of winning it. If Holland isn’t going to win it, then I must back some other team to win it. I hate it but it’s about time I took a good look at the list of serious contenders for this trophy.

France:
How can such a talented team have to struggle so hard just to qualify for the tournament? The answer is very simple: If there were a prize for being the worst manager of the year; their manager would have won it hands down for the past 4 years.

It is a great team with a crap coach and though they are in a pretty decent group, they won’t go very far in this world cup.
P.S.: For a team whose recent attacking play has been dysfunctional at best, why is Domenech not playing Pires?

Argentina:
Who was Argentina’s best player in 1998? Fernando Redondo
Why didn’t he play in the 98 world cup? Good question (Only Daniel Passarella knows)
Who was Argentina’s best playmaker in 2002? Riquelme
Why didn’t he play in the 2002 world cup? Ask Marcelo Biesla
Why weren’t Messi and Tevez unleashed on the Germans in 2006? Apparently Julio Cruz was better than them, as far as Jose Pekerman was concerned.

Their problem for a really long time has been their coaches, and unfortunately for them the trend is likely to this year as well. Unless of course Messi/Tevez decides to do a Zidane and drag their team to a world cup final thereby masking the incompetence of their manager.


England:
Every four years, we hear a lot about their so-called world class team and their chances of winning the world cup. This world cup year is no different. They have two fit world class players, Wayne Rooney and John Terry. Rio Ferdinand, their new captain, has neither been fit nor anywhere near his top form. In fact, the ease with which Torres brushed him aside in the match against Manchester United should be a cause for concern. They have right backs capable of either only attacking or only defending. They don’t have a left winger. One of their first choice strikers is more of a workhorse than a goal scorer.
Even with a brilliant manager in Fabio Capello, they would be lucky to get to the semi-finals.


Germany:
Since 2002, Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn were the only great players in their lineup. Now Oliver Kahn has retired, and Michael Ballack is no longer the midfield maestro he once was. But then, this is Germany. They have the knack of reserving their top form for the biggest tournaments and in Thomas Muller they have a young striker of great promise. Even in the current weakened state, they should manage to make it easily to the quarter-finals or semi-finals.

Netherlands:
They have a good team, but it’s nowhere close to the team Holland had in the late 90s and the early part of this decade. Their midfield is still quite strong and with Engelaar to protect their backline, their defense should be fine as well; but it’s the lack of firepower in the strikers which is likely to derail their challenge. Van Nistelrooy hasn’t played for Real Madrid in some time, Huntelaar has traded Real Madrid’s bench for A. C. Milan’s bench.
Holland should get to the quarter-finals and that should be it.

Italy:
Marcelo Lippi has brought a squad which is quite similar to the one he brought to Germany in 2006. The likes of Del Piero, Totti (if he comes out of retirement, and is selected to play), Cannavaro, Luca Toni have gotten older and their contribution is likely to be key to Italy’s title challenge. One potential problem is that their strike force isn’t as creative as in the recent past, and the absence of Antonio Cassano may yet haunt them in this tournament. But they should easily make it to the quarter-finals and after that they would have to rely on their water-tight backline to carry forward their challenge.
They are easily one of the favorites for this year’s world cup.

Brazil:
The only way they won’t do well in this world cup is if they choose to self-destruct. Most of the players in their squad, including their bench, are world class. Still I have two complaints:
1) They don’t play like Brazil of old.
2) There is no indication that they are going to take Ronaldo to South Africa.
This is a team which has no obvious weaknesses, and it would take a truly special effort on the part of any team to beat them.


Portugal:
Their squad to South Africa has some of the most exciting wingers in the world, but unfortunately their squad doesn’t have a half-decent striker. Moreover, their manager has proven to be an exceptional understudy to a manager but is yet to convince as a manager.
They aren’t likely to progress beyond quarter-finals/semi-finals as they don’t have the wherewithal to beat an Italy/Brazil/Germany/Spain.

Spain:
Their passing game is a joy to behold. In David Villa, Fernando Torres they have two strikers who can destroy any set of defenders on this planet. However their real strength lies in their powerhouse of a midfield. Xavi, Iniesta, Fabregas can pass the ball around the opposition for eons at a stretch. If only they had a taller group of players, then they would be the firm favorites for this world cup. But as Johan Cruyff said, “Without the ball you can't win”. With Xavi and Iniesta manning the midfield, the opposition midfielders would struggle to get anywhere near one.

So, in my opinion the two finalists should be any of Italy, Germany, Brazil, and Spain (definitely not in this order).

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Faux Pas by the Raj's Sena

I came across a very interesting link a few days back.
For a long time, the Thackeray clan has been whining about outsiders not respecting the local culture (the usual bull**** as no one, especially the Thackerays, have any idea about what their culture is). Uddhav comes across as a dumb politician. Raj on the other hand always seemed to know what he was doing. Therefore, I was astounded to know that his party workers were willing to let North Indians drive taxis in Mumbai as long as they learnt Marathi (I thought that the whole culture thing was more on the lines of the usual charade of starting with a semi-reasonable demand and then rapidly progressing to more fascist ones.). I am glad to know that at least Raj knows that it is not about Marathi Manoos and their culture; it is all about the jobs.
But then it is smart people like Raj, Modi, Hitler,...... who .............
So, I shouldn't be glad after all. Damn.

Monday, January 25, 2010

IPL-3 does what our government could not

When some uninvited “ambassadors of goodwill, secularism, friendship, and love” unleashed their brotherly love on the unsuspecting residents of Mumbai, Pakistan proclaimed its innocence by claiming 26/11 to be the handiwork of non-state actors.

Yet when an event organized by some private parties in India snubs Pakistani players, then they deem it fit to blame government of India, BCCI, or pretty much anyone/anybody who has whacked their sorry asses with consistency and distinction.

Hypocrisy - thy name is Pakistan.