While watching the Lalit Modi vs Shashi Tharoor saga being played on the television, I couldn’t help reflecting on the frivolity of the exercise. The news channels were all bringing new facts in this case. Did those new facts make any difference to the viewers?
The point is, either you believed Shashi Tharoor or you did not (At least the first few acts of this play were about him before the government machinery got into overdrive). There were three kinds of people viewing these events.
1. Those who believed that Shashi Tharoor was telling the truth.
2. Those who believed that he was lying.
3. Those who didn’t care.
Since the media didn’t bring anything which could be classified as a game changer or something which could be called a clinching piece of evidence, people who were in any of the above three categories stayed right there; no matter what new facts were brought to light by the media (People were suggesting that Tharoor may not have to resign if Pushkar surrenders the sweat equity but the moment she did that, BJP said that it was conclusive proof that she was a proxy for Tharoor).
Bottomline is that the facts don’t matter, what we perceive to be facts do.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Why I hate the movie Rang De Basanti
I don’t hate Rang De Basanti because it propounds violence as a means to make your point.
I don’t hate it because its ending was a total rip-off from The Boondock Saints.
What I really dislike about this movie is that it has given rise to a bunch of sanctimonious people who can alternatively be referred to as the “be the change” generation. The moment you say that there is something wrong with your college/country/pretty much anything else, these people are at your throats asking you to either raise it in a proper forum (only god knows what that is), or you would be told that either you should change the system or keep your mouth shut (Have they considered the possibility that there may not be a system left if each one of the 1.2billion odd people strived to change it).
So the rest of us are not allowed to whine about anything, but these people are allowed to whine about our whining. As it is a case of selective trampling of right to freedom of speech, I see shades of communism in these people.
Bollywood should not even try to make movies that have a message, and this particular movie tells us why.
I don’t hate it because its ending was a total rip-off from The Boondock Saints.
What I really dislike about this movie is that it has given rise to a bunch of sanctimonious people who can alternatively be referred to as the “be the change” generation. The moment you say that there is something wrong with your college/country/pretty much anything else, these people are at your throats asking you to either raise it in a proper forum (only god knows what that is), or you would be told that either you should change the system or keep your mouth shut (Have they considered the possibility that there may not be a system left if each one of the 1.2billion odd people strived to change it).
So the rest of us are not allowed to whine about anything, but these people are allowed to whine about our whining. As it is a case of selective trampling of right to freedom of speech, I see shades of communism in these people.
Bollywood should not even try to make movies that have a message, and this particular movie tells us why.
Acer strikes back
The second visit to Acer was a little less pleasant as compared to the first visit, primarily because during the first visit I didn’t have the guts to entrust my laptop to them. Unfortunately I didn’t have the luxury of that choice this time around. There is only so much you can do with a laptop once you can’t even switch it on. And Acer has been kind enough to have just one repair center for the whole of Bangalore.
I gave them my laptop and I was asked to collect it later in the day. They promised to call me up and inform me once the power button was replaced, something they didn’t bother to do. I had neither asked nor requested them to call me once it was done, so why exactly did they make a commitment they had absolutely no intention of keeping is beyond me.
2 Hours Later
Anyways, I went back to collect my laptop. At times, I haven’t bothered to properly inspect my car once it has been returned by the service center, but somehow I didn’t feel that I could afford to make this mistake here.
I switched the laptop on (Thankfully the power button was working), but I just couldn’t click on the “logon” icon. I pointed it out to the person who had supposedly replaced the power button. His prompt reply was, “Sir, your OS is corrupted and therefore you are facing this problem”. WTF (Yes, I said that). Needless to state that this innovative piece of bullshit kick-started a brief exchange of words in which he tried to give all kind of bull explanations (I would much rather not repeat any of what I told him). Finally he made the mistake of trying to move from the realm of bull to facts.
He said that “I can prove it to you that your laptop’s operating system is corrupt and this is the reason the mouse is not working“. Obviously I didn’t let this opportunity pass. It would take some serious amount of technical skills to prove that the root-cause of an issue like this is a corrupt OS, and frankly speaking someone incapable of replacing a power button properly (and which is incidentally his job) is unlikely to possess such skill.
I said earlier that he tried to move from the realm of bull to facts. Actually I was wrong. He had moved from bull to bull++. His new arguments were twofold.
1. He said that he had tried it out and that the mouse works properly in the safe mode and therefore my OS is corrupt. (WTF)
2. The power button had nothing to do with the mouse and therefore I shouldn’t blame him for that. (Yeah right. I give you a laptop that works, you return me one that doesn’t and I shouldn’t blame you for that. Fortunately for me, this clown had actually logged into my system and hence he couldn’t claim that it wasn’t working earlier.)
I asked him to prove that that the mouse works properly in the safe mode. He tried. Actually he kept trying for the next 5 minutes.
30 minutes later
He came back with my laptop, and it was working. I was informed that while cleaning the laptop, somehow one of the cables was dis-connected and this was the cause of the problem. I logged in and in my opinion I checked it thoroughly.
2 Days later
I couldn’t use the mouse to scroll. :D
One part of me wants to go back there and give them a mouthful. The other part of me is reminding me of an old saying in Hindi, “Bhaagte bhoot ki langot bhali” .
I gave them my laptop and I was asked to collect it later in the day. They promised to call me up and inform me once the power button was replaced, something they didn’t bother to do. I had neither asked nor requested them to call me once it was done, so why exactly did they make a commitment they had absolutely no intention of keeping is beyond me.
2 Hours Later
Anyways, I went back to collect my laptop. At times, I haven’t bothered to properly inspect my car once it has been returned by the service center, but somehow I didn’t feel that I could afford to make this mistake here.
I switched the laptop on (Thankfully the power button was working), but I just couldn’t click on the “logon” icon. I pointed it out to the person who had supposedly replaced the power button. His prompt reply was, “Sir, your OS is corrupted and therefore you are facing this problem”. WTF (Yes, I said that). Needless to state that this innovative piece of bullshit kick-started a brief exchange of words in which he tried to give all kind of bull explanations (I would much rather not repeat any of what I told him). Finally he made the mistake of trying to move from the realm of bull to facts.
He said that “I can prove it to you that your laptop’s operating system is corrupt and this is the reason the mouse is not working“. Obviously I didn’t let this opportunity pass. It would take some serious amount of technical skills to prove that the root-cause of an issue like this is a corrupt OS, and frankly speaking someone incapable of replacing a power button properly (and which is incidentally his job) is unlikely to possess such skill.
I said earlier that he tried to move from the realm of bull to facts. Actually I was wrong. He had moved from bull to bull++. His new arguments were twofold.
1. He said that he had tried it out and that the mouse works properly in the safe mode and therefore my OS is corrupt. (WTF)
2. The power button had nothing to do with the mouse and therefore I shouldn’t blame him for that. (Yeah right. I give you a laptop that works, you return me one that doesn’t and I shouldn’t blame you for that. Fortunately for me, this clown had actually logged into my system and hence he couldn’t claim that it wasn’t working earlier.)
I asked him to prove that that the mouse works properly in the safe mode. He tried. Actually he kept trying for the next 5 minutes.
30 minutes later
He came back with my laptop, and it was working. I was informed that while cleaning the laptop, somehow one of the cables was dis-connected and this was the cause of the problem. I logged in and in my opinion I checked it thoroughly.
2 Days later
I couldn’t use the mouse to scroll. :D
One part of me wants to go back there and give them a mouthful. The other part of me is reminding me of an old saying in Hindi, “Bhaagte bhoot ki langot bhali” .
Monday, April 19, 2010
STP analysis of Consumer Behavior
Segmentation:
If you are looking for diversity in any course at IIMB, then look no further than ConB. Segmenting them is nigh impossible but, hopefully due to my enhanced “globe” skills thanks in no small part to ConB and Rambo, I will make an honest attempt here. The eclectic bunch of students in ConB can be classified as follows:
1. Marketing fanatics
2. Finance hopefuls: These are the sorry bunch of folks who had the minimum possible bid points left and were therefore forced to select the elective ConB.
3. Masochists
4. Deaf: Anybody who kept his/her ears open knew that unless you intended to experience Ahmedabad at Bangalore, you were well advised to stay away from this course.
5. Idiots: My favorite, simply because I am in this category. Having slept through the summer placement process, I believed that I was almost stress-proof. Have I ever been more wrong, ever in my life?
Targeting:
Statutory warning: Anyone not belonging to segment 1 would do well to stay away from the course, unless of course you are in segment 3. Folks in segment 3 may be under the erroneous impression that they are in for a treat; please be forewarned that the experience may prove to be a bit too overwhelming (and that is a gross understatement).
Positioning:
To understand what we have gained and others did not (I know using “gained” is a case of a very wrong choice of word), we would need to understand the positioning of ConB with respect to other subjects.
If I had a penny for each time he said “Either I can teach you or I can be nice to you”, I would still be in penury. The 200 odd pages long course guideline does not even hint at what was in store for us. Sorry, my mistake. It does, but no one I know has read it end to end. Maybe our junior batch will have a prequel course next year, which would test their proficiency at the course guidelines.
Mentioning other courses in the same breath as ConB is blasphemy, and I refuse to indulge in heresy by doing so. Suffice it to say that it is a multi-dimensional course which will open your “globe chakshu” like no other.
If you are looking for diversity in any course at IIMB, then look no further than ConB. Segmenting them is nigh impossible but, hopefully due to my enhanced “globe” skills thanks in no small part to ConB and Rambo, I will make an honest attempt here. The eclectic bunch of students in ConB can be classified as follows:
1. Marketing fanatics
2. Finance hopefuls: These are the sorry bunch of folks who had the minimum possible bid points left and were therefore forced to select the elective ConB.
3. Masochists
4. Deaf: Anybody who kept his/her ears open knew that unless you intended to experience Ahmedabad at Bangalore, you were well advised to stay away from this course.
5. Idiots: My favorite, simply because I am in this category. Having slept through the summer placement process, I believed that I was almost stress-proof. Have I ever been more wrong, ever in my life?
Targeting:
Statutory warning: Anyone not belonging to segment 1 would do well to stay away from the course, unless of course you are in segment 3. Folks in segment 3 may be under the erroneous impression that they are in for a treat; please be forewarned that the experience may prove to be a bit too overwhelming (and that is a gross understatement).
Positioning:
To understand what we have gained and others did not (I know using “gained” is a case of a very wrong choice of word), we would need to understand the positioning of ConB with respect to other subjects.
If I had a penny for each time he said “Either I can teach you or I can be nice to you”, I would still be in penury. The 200 odd pages long course guideline does not even hint at what was in store for us. Sorry, my mistake. It does, but no one I know has read it end to end. Maybe our junior batch will have a prequel course next year, which would test their proficiency at the course guidelines.
Mentioning other courses in the same breath as ConB is blasphemy, and I refuse to indulge in heresy by doing so. Suffice it to say that it is a multi-dimensional course which will open your “globe chakshu” like no other.
Monday, April 5, 2010
The latest twist
As always, the unkindest cut always comes from people closest to you.
Poor Shoaib Malik.
He got kicked in his nuts by his own countrymen (As if Aaj tak and Indiatimes had not done enough already). Apparently, Women's rights activists in Pakistan are now trying to defend him. Either this is the first time that the women's rights activists are speaking on an issue and defending a man, or this is a case of what I think it is.
Now I am left wondering about the connection between Shoaib Akhtar's genital warts and Shoaib Malik's gender.
P.S.: For god's sake, get married already and spare us from any more of this "Tamaasha".
Poor Shoaib Malik.
He got kicked in his nuts by his own countrymen (As if Aaj tak and Indiatimes had not done enough already). Apparently, Women's rights activists in Pakistan are now trying to defend him. Either this is the first time that the women's rights activists are speaking on an issue and defending a man, or this is a case of what I think it is.
Now I am left wondering about the connection between Shoaib Akhtar's genital warts and Shoaib Malik's gender.
P.S.: For god's sake, get married already and spare us from any more of this "Tamaasha".
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Rambo Begins
“Though many Rambos there be; great, big and small. Our Rambo, to his students, is the scariest of them all.”
The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live here who remember it. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for five long years, ConB and Rambo passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, ConB and Rambo ensnared another batch. Our batch.
We had heard no stories about him, and that seemed to add to his aura. He started his first class by ‘thanking us for taking his course’. That should have set the alarm bells ringing. Hell, that should have sent us running to the Acad council; begging them to let us drop this course. Since we were still there in the second class, the prof correctly surmised that we weren’t too bright. At the end of the first class, Viru Bhau (showing the kind of enthu/chul/keeda that he reserves only for the marketing courses) showed the temerity to walk up to Rambo and state that “Sir, why do you insist so much on definitions?”. I would have used the word explosion to describe the next class, but the word explosion would fall woefully short of expressing the magnitude of what followed. I can’t even describe what happened in that class (My fingers can type, but they didn’t witness the incident. And my eyes saw that incident, but they are incapable of typing.).
That was when we knew that we were facing “The Rambo” himself.
Case Presentation 1: There was no lull, there was no storm; this was Rambo at his best. Even time slowed down to see the master at work. The voice was softer than that of Marlon Brando, but the effect was 100 times more sinister. If the presenting groups were to be hanged, drawn, and quartered after that, well that would have been a mercy.
There was a time when he wasn’t known as Rambo, back then he was plain SRK. How he came to be known as Rambo is what the rest of this blog is about. This scene is set a few months after the events of Rambo-3. John Rambo disregarded some sane and well-meant advice from his seniors and dared to take SRK’s course.
Encounter1
Day: Monday, Time: 2:30:01, Venue:L-11, Setting: John Rambo enters the class
SRK: Who are you?
John Rambo: Your worst nightmare.
SRK: Please come to the next class.
Encounter2
Day: Tuesday, Time: 2:30:00, Venue:L-11, Setting: John Rambo enters the class
SRK(addressing the class): You see, he seems to derive hedonistic pleasure in coming late to the class.
John Rambo: I am on time. Why are you pushing me?
SRK: Do you know the definition of pushing? Do you know what Philip Kotler has said about it?
(John Rambo takes his knife out of his boots.)
SRK: You have not done any analysis of the situation at all. Even a first level analysis would have told you that knives don’t work on me. A second level analysis would have told you that you are about to get your ass whopped.
What followed was legen- wait for it-dary.
Since then, John Rambo is known to babble stuff like “Sometimes I wake up and I don't know where I am. And I don't talk to anybody. Sometimes a day. Sometimes a week. Can't put it out of my mind.”, “I spent six months as a prisoner of war in Vietnam, but I have never felt so thoroughly violated.”. He ran away, a broken man, and spent the rest of his life acting in B-grade Hollywood movies.
This was the fateful day when a fake Rambo died and “The Rambo” was born.
The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live here who remember it. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for five long years, ConB and Rambo passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, ConB and Rambo ensnared another batch. Our batch.
We had heard no stories about him, and that seemed to add to his aura. He started his first class by ‘thanking us for taking his course’. That should have set the alarm bells ringing. Hell, that should have sent us running to the Acad council; begging them to let us drop this course. Since we were still there in the second class, the prof correctly surmised that we weren’t too bright. At the end of the first class, Viru Bhau (showing the kind of enthu/chul/keeda that he reserves only for the marketing courses) showed the temerity to walk up to Rambo and state that “Sir, why do you insist so much on definitions?”. I would have used the word explosion to describe the next class, but the word explosion would fall woefully short of expressing the magnitude of what followed. I can’t even describe what happened in that class (My fingers can type, but they didn’t witness the incident. And my eyes saw that incident, but they are incapable of typing.).
That was when we knew that we were facing “The Rambo” himself.
Case Presentation 1: There was no lull, there was no storm; this was Rambo at his best. Even time slowed down to see the master at work. The voice was softer than that of Marlon Brando, but the effect was 100 times more sinister. If the presenting groups were to be hanged, drawn, and quartered after that, well that would have been a mercy.
There was a time when he wasn’t known as Rambo, back then he was plain SRK. How he came to be known as Rambo is what the rest of this blog is about. This scene is set a few months after the events of Rambo-3. John Rambo disregarded some sane and well-meant advice from his seniors and dared to take SRK’s course.
Encounter1
Day: Monday, Time: 2:30:01, Venue:L-11, Setting: John Rambo enters the class
SRK: Who are you?
John Rambo: Your worst nightmare.
SRK: Please come to the next class.
Encounter2
Day: Tuesday, Time: 2:30:00, Venue:L-11, Setting: John Rambo enters the class
SRK(addressing the class): You see, he seems to derive hedonistic pleasure in coming late to the class.
John Rambo: I am on time. Why are you pushing me?
SRK: Do you know the definition of pushing? Do you know what Philip Kotler has said about it?
(John Rambo takes his knife out of his boots.)
SRK: You have not done any analysis of the situation at all. Even a first level analysis would have told you that knives don’t work on me. A second level analysis would have told you that you are about to get your ass whopped.
What followed was legen- wait for it-dary.
Since then, John Rambo is known to babble stuff like “Sometimes I wake up and I don't know where I am. And I don't talk to anybody. Sometimes a day. Sometimes a week. Can't put it out of my mind.”, “I spent six months as a prisoner of war in Vietnam, but I have never felt so thoroughly violated.”. He ran away, a broken man, and spent the rest of his life acting in B-grade Hollywood movies.
This was the fateful day when a fake Rambo died and “The Rambo” was born.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Hypocrisy and our political class
Somebody once said that Diplomacy is the art of the possible. Actually he got it wrong. It’s actually hypocrisy which is the art of the possible.
Case in Point: The behavior of the “honorable” members of our parliament. Logic does take a back seat in our country’s politics. But yesterday it was ushered out of the arena itself. I am by no means a supporter of the latest bill on reservation, and the sole reason I am supporting this bill is because of the kind of people who are opposing this bill. (Being a Bihari and having graduated from Allahabad I can’t support anything either Mulayam or Lalu think is right. When both of them agree on something, well then my decision is set in stone.)
Instance 1:
Our parliament does not have reservation for OBCs, minorities (a euphemism in our political circles for muslims). Now suddenly when the women’s reservation bill was introduced, if it does not have separate reservation for OBCs, minorities; the great politicians from the cow belt denounce it as being anti-this, anti-that. Why don’t our honorable MPs start by demanding reservations for OBC in the parliament itself?
Instance2:
Not allowing the debates to take place in parliament is democratic (someone please tell them the meaning of the word parliament), but using marshals to evict these troublemakers from the parliament is undemocratic.
Instance3:
When students protest against reservations, then they are either “manuvadi” or casteist. But when these clowns do the same, then they are democratic.
Hypocrisy thy synonym is politicians especially politicians from the cow belt.
Case in Point: The behavior of the “honorable” members of our parliament. Logic does take a back seat in our country’s politics. But yesterday it was ushered out of the arena itself. I am by no means a supporter of the latest bill on reservation, and the sole reason I am supporting this bill is because of the kind of people who are opposing this bill. (Being a Bihari and having graduated from Allahabad I can’t support anything either Mulayam or Lalu think is right. When both of them agree on something, well then my decision is set in stone.)
Instance 1:
Our parliament does not have reservation for OBCs, minorities (a euphemism in our political circles for muslims). Now suddenly when the women’s reservation bill was introduced, if it does not have separate reservation for OBCs, minorities; the great politicians from the cow belt denounce it as being anti-this, anti-that. Why don’t our honorable MPs start by demanding reservations for OBC in the parliament itself?
Instance2:
Not allowing the debates to take place in parliament is democratic (someone please tell them the meaning of the word parliament), but using marshals to evict these troublemakers from the parliament is undemocratic.
Instance3:
When students protest against reservations, then they are either “manuvadi” or casteist. But when these clowns do the same, then they are democratic.
Hypocrisy thy synonym is politicians especially politicians from the cow belt.
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