Rambo Begins

“Though many Rambos there be; great, big and small. Our Rambo, to his students, is the scariest of them all.”

The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live here who remember it. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for five long years, ConB and Rambo passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, ConB and Rambo ensnared another batch. Our batch.

We had heard no stories about him, and that seemed to add to his aura. He started his first class by ‘thanking us for taking his course’. That should have set the alarm bells ringing. Hell, that should have sent us running to the Acad council; begging them to let us drop this course. Since we were still there in the second class, the prof correctly surmised that we weren’t too bright. At the end of the first class, Viru Bhau (showing the kind of enthu/chul/keeda that he reserves only for the marketing courses) showed the temerity to walk up to Rambo and state that “Sir, why do you insist so much on definitions?”. I would have used the word explosion to describe the next class, but the word explosion would fall woefully short of expressing the magnitude of what followed. I can’t even describe what happened in that class (My fingers can type, but they didn’t witness the incident. And my eyes saw that incident, but they are incapable of typing.).

That was when we knew that we were facing “The Rambo” himself.

Case Presentation 1: There was no lull, there was no storm; this was Rambo at his best. Even time slowed down to see the master at work. The voice was softer than that of Marlon Brando, but the effect was 100 times more sinister. If the presenting groups were to be hanged, drawn, and quartered after that, well that would have been a mercy.

There was a time when he wasn’t known as Rambo, back then he was plain SRK. How he came to be known as Rambo is what the rest of this blog is about. This scene is set a few months after the events of Rambo-3. John Rambo disregarded some sane and well-meant advice from his seniors and dared to take SRK’s course.

Encounter1
Day: Monday, Time: 2:30:01, Venue:L-11, Setting: John Rambo enters the class
SRK: Who are you?
John Rambo: Your worst nightmare.
SRK: Please come to the next class.

Encounter2
Day: Tuesday, Time: 2:30:00, Venue:L-11, Setting: John Rambo enters the class
SRK(addressing the class): You see, he seems to derive hedonistic pleasure in coming late to the class.
John Rambo: I am on time. Why are you pushing me?
SRK: Do you know the definition of pushing? Do you know what Philip Kotler has said about it?
(John Rambo takes his knife out of his boots.)
SRK: You have not done any analysis of the situation at all. Even a first level analysis would have told you that knives don’t work on me. A second level analysis would have told you that you are about to get your ass whopped.

What followed was legen- wait for it-dary.

Since then, John Rambo is known to babble stuff like “Sometimes I wake up and I don't know where I am. And I don't talk to anybody. Sometimes a day. Sometimes a week. Can't put it out of my mind.”, “I spent six months as a prisoner of war in Vietnam, but I have never felt so thoroughly violated.”. He ran away, a broken man, and spent the rest of his life acting in B-grade Hollywood movies.

This was the fateful day when a fake Rambo died and “The Rambo” was born.

Hypocrisy and our political class

Somebody once said that Diplomacy is the art of the possible. Actually he got it wrong. It’s actually hypocrisy which is the art of the possible.

Case in Point: The behavior of the “honorable” members of our parliament. Logic does take a back seat in our country’s politics. But yesterday it was ushered out of the arena itself. I am by no means a supporter of the latest bill on reservation, and the sole reason I am supporting this bill is because of the kind of people who are opposing this bill. (Being a Bihari and having graduated from Allahabad I can’t support anything either Mulayam or Lalu think is right. When both of them agree on something, well then my decision is set in stone.)

Instance 1:
Our parliament does not have reservation for OBCs, minorities (a euphemism in our political circles for muslims). Now suddenly when the women’s reservation bill was introduced, if it does not have separate reservation for OBCs, minorities; the great politicians from the cow belt denounce it as being anti-this, anti-that. Why don’t our honorable MPs start by demanding reservations for OBC in the parliament itself?

Instance2:
Not allowing the debates to take place in parliament is democratic (someone please tell them the meaning of the word parliament), but using marshals to evict these troublemakers from the parliament is undemocratic.

Instance3:
When students protest against reservations, then they are either “manuvadi” or casteist. But when these clowns do the same, then they are democratic.

Hypocrisy thy synonym is politicians especially politicians from the cow belt.