NREGA

Having your cake and eating it too is a great idea. Unfortunately it only works when the one baking the cake is someone else, and more importantly does it for free.

I have never had any soft corner for the UPA government, and I never had any liking for the BJP either. I am as indifferent to the political parties in our country, simply because they all promise just one thing: They will act in their own selfish interests, barring in some very special circumstances. I still don’t want BJP to come back in power, not until they figure out a vision of India that is even remotely constructive in nature. The unfortunate reality is that they are quite likely to win the next general elections. They are not going to win the next elections because the perennial PM in the making Mr. Advani has suddenly developed the charisma he never had. They aren’t going to win it because Modi is a mass leader. They will win the election because their opponents will lose it.

Seven years ago, in February 2006, some wise folks in Congress decided to implement NREGA. It was thought to be a political master stroke, as it won them the next general elections. Surely nothing could go wrong, all they had to do it was expand it and they were sitting on a potential political goldmine. They just forgot one thing: doling out a freebie is like riding a tiger, there are no acceptable exit options available.

If any of the ministers in the government had cared to read Milton Friedman, they would have known that the results of this largesse would start to impact the economy 2 years down the line. Not much happened, except that the inflation rate increased by 2 percent. Two years of billions of dollars of wages for economically unproductive work financed by printing money can only lead to devaluation of money i.e. inflation. It might not have impacted those who received the benefits under NREGA (in a corruption free scenario, but whom am I kidding here), but it did start to hurt those who didn’t receive any benefits under NREGA. Was one year enough for the inflation to pinch enough of Indian citizens? I am not sure. The government did not have much of a choice rather than to increase the coverage of the scheme. All the government could hope was that the inflation would come down by a miracle or by actions from the central bank. Neither scenario materialized but what did materialize was the hardship faced by the common citizens.

As always there are 3 types of people impacted by this scenario:

1. Those who benefit from NREGA, and are hit by inflation: In theory these people should be better off, at least if the levels of corruption in the implementation are low. Having said that, most of the people in this category are likely to have been receiving these benefits for many years now. They are used to it. There aren’t many ‘for’ votes for someone who continues this scheme, but there are many “against” votes for someone if they discontinue this scheme. In any case, even they would like to get the benefit and prefer the inflation rate to be moderate. Bottom line is this: Are they going to be grateful to the government for this benefit and vote for them or are they going to vote on caste/religious/other factors? No one knows, but it’s a fair guess to say that this constituency is split.

2. Those who don’t benefit from NREGA, and are not hit by inflation: This category includes folks like me. Inflation is a problem, but it doesn’t bother me too much. Once again, I believe this category is split and would vote on the basis of caste/religious/other factors.

3. Those who don’t benefit from NREGA, and are hit by inflation: This is the constituency that will be the one that costs the government this election. It’s a sizeable constituency that comprises of urban poor, and rural poor whose villages haven’t been covered by NREGA as yet. They have not received the benefits of NREGA, but they have paid all the costs of inflation. It’s anybody’s guess as to how they will vote. One thing we can know for sure is that they are not likely to vote for the government. No wonder then that the government is trying to target them by bringing the Food Security Bill. Of course the opposition is trying to block it as they know the impact of the bill as well.

Long story short, this government is going to lose and lose big. Even though I have made this prediction, I am hoping that I am wrong. I would prefer five years of peace with record breaking corruption to five years of ‘rath yatras’ and other assorted nonsense.

What kind of world do we inhabit?

Just five minutes back, I read a statement by IIM Kozhikode's director in which he says that women make better managers than men.
Did any uproar follow that? Hell no.
But then wasn't there a huge uproar when Lawrence H. Summers said this.
I mean, how on earth are these statements any different (except for one small difference).

So basically it boils down to this, you can speak your mind only as long as you are praising/criticising only a certain part of the society.

Which brings us to the million dollar question: "What kind of world do we inhabit?".

One whose defining characteristic is hypocrisy.

The White Tiger

Two days wasted, forty eight hours of my life that I am not going to get back. 48 hours that could have been better spent either sleeping or even watching some mindless Bollywood masala film. These were my initial reactions after reading this Booker prize winning work by Arvind Adiga.

Let’s just try to be objective for a few minutes and evaluate this book on a few parameters:

Setting:
Imagine you are a journalist and you want to write about Bihar, you could either actually go to Bihar or visit a slum in your city and set that up as Bihar. Mr. Adiga has done the latter. The setting in this novel is as unrealistic as it gets. Here is why I think so:

1. If a village in Bihar has even an open drain, then it isn’t one of the most backward villages in Bihar simply because in the most backward villages; there isn’t a drainage system to speak of. Wait a minute, haven’t I seen an open drain somewhere. Actually I have, but each of those open drains is in Bangalore and from what I know, Mr. Adiga is a Kannadiga. Lazy journalism anyone.

2. “Kissing a god’s arse”. Where the hell did this expression come from? I am totally clueless here. I have spent a majority of my life in a hostel (read away from my parents), and I both know and have used almost every invective in vogue. I seriously doubt if the translated version of this expression has an equivalent in any Indian language. Why this expression has been used will be clearer in the second half of this post, hopefully.

3. A devout Muslim masquerading as a Hindu and staying in a Hindu household: Mr. Adiga, you can hide the dates concerned by not revealing them to your
audience; but sirjee ”real” people would notice if somebody fasts for a whole month at a stretch (Especially if it is the month of Ramadan and the people are as bigoted as the Zamindars mentioned in the novel).

4. Has the author ever been to a police station in Bangalore? I once went there to lodge a complaint. This is precisely what I was told, “Tum North Indians Bangalore aana, aur humaari jobs lena. Tumhaara Saaman chori hona to kiski galti hona, tumhari galti hona ya Police ki galti hona.” (You North Indians come to Bangalore and take our jobs. If you lose some of your belongings, then is it your fault or is it the fault of the Police?) Imagine a scenario where a North Indian’s employee is actually accused of murdering a Bangalorean in Bangalore; it’s anybody’s guess as to how friendly the Police would be.

Language: The language used in the novel is pedestrian at best. I can name dozens of people (engineers / phd students etc) who can write better than this so called author. Enough said on this.

Characters: One-dimensional. Straight out of a 50s/60s Bollywood flick. Other than the narrator and his employer (the one he murders), almost all of the characters are
unreal.

Having read this piece of garbage, and I am still being charitable to this so called novel, I was left wondering as to how did it win the Booker prize. That’s when the
cynic in my analyzed this novel’s success by using some of the basic concepts of marketing.

Segmentation and Targeting: The way I see it, there are three groups of people who are going to read this “offering”

1. Bihari: I have sub-segmented India into two simply because most of India has never been to Bihar, and isn’t likely to go there anytime soon. So as long as the depiction is ghastly enough, some of the audience may buy it. But I seriously doubt if any Bihari can identify with the way Bihar has been depicted here. This novel definitley doesn't target any Bihari.

2. Rest of India: They may buy what is written about Bihar, but selling them stories regarding Bangalore and Gurgaon is slightly difficult. Even if it were
true, selling us a story we all know isn’t going to work. Once again, not the target audience.


3. Foreigners: This is where the author has hit the jackpot. I mean most of this segment has never been to India and all they know about India is from movies like Slumdog Millionaire, Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom etc. They aren’t likely to have a problem in identifying with a character who mouths lines about kissing someone’s arse, after all the origin of that expression is Western.

Positioning: This book seems to be positioned as a “primer on India for dummies”. What is really unfortunate is that the Booker prize committee seems to have one too many dummies on its list.



It is a well marketed novel and it does a good job of continuing from where Slumdog Millionaire left off. Even amongst its target audience, anyone with an IQ in double/triple digits should have stayed far away from this book. But, apparently not too many did.

Whom Should Manchester United Buy

The year was 2005. Chelsea had just won the EPL title. It had been the second year running that United hadn’t won anything. Sir Alex and Manchester United responded by buying an exceptionally classy yet slightly under-rated goalkeeper from Fulham. In
the January’s transfer window, United bought two defenders in Patrice Evra and Nemanja Vidic.

Chelsea did go on to win EPL in 2005-06 as well, but at least in the second half of the season; United for the first time in many years started to look like a team that was capable of challenging for major honors. United went on to win three EPLs in a
row, a feat no other club has ever accomplished. Now let’s take a look at the season that ended just a few days back.

Forwards: Rooney and Valencia were exemplary, Nani was a revelation, Giggs was damn good. The likes of Macheda, Welbeck, Obertan are ones for the future. Our forwards did reasonably well, considering the fact that we lost two world class forwards
(Cristiano Ronaldo and Tevez). It has been suggested that United is a one man team (with Rooney being the one man); but then weren’t we called a one man team last year as well (Last time it was Ronaldo, apparently Rooney wasn’t good enough in the
opinion of some people). I have no complaints with our forwards whatsoever.

Midfield: Our midfield has been the weak link for a really long time. Ever since Roy Keane left United, and maybe even during his last year at United can be included; our midfield has been relatively lightweight. Carrick is an ok player at best.
Scholes can’t be expected to perform at a high level every week. Anderson has flattered to deceive. Fletcher has exceeded expectations. Hargreaves has been conspicuous by his absence (His absence really hurts as we lose a free kick specialist, not to mention a world class defensive midfielder). We desperately need some reinforcements in this area. Unfortunately world class midfielders are rarely on the market, and when they are then their price is grossly inflated. We may have to settle for a promising youngster or maybe we can get a Stephen Ireland or Joe Cole hopefully.

Defence: This is one area where we seemed to be well covered. But when Murphy’s Law struck, this was the area which caused us so much trouble that at one time we were playing with just one recognized defender. God willing and injuries permitting, we
should be fine here.

GoalKeeper: What if Ben Foster had not made a hash of the opportunities given to him? Well, we would have been champions of England and he would be going to the world cup instead of making the switch to Birmingham City.

In Edwin Van Der Saar, we have one of the best keepers in the world. But it’s highly unlikely that he would play for more than 1-2 years, and it is even more unlikely that he would remain injury free for these 1-2 years. What we need is a good/world-class replacement, unfortunately what we have are two goalkeepers who just aren’t good enough. Just like in 2005, we should be on the prowl for a good keeper if we are to wrest EPL back from Chelsea.

Sir Alex Ferguson has said many times that he has all the funds he needs. But the proof of the pudding is in the eating, what kind of funds are available to him can be judged by the kind of signings he makes in the midfield and goalkeeping positions.

Do facts matter?

While watching the Lalit Modi vs Shashi Tharoor saga being played on the television, I couldn’t help reflecting on the frivolity of the exercise. The news channels were all bringing new facts in this case. Did those new facts make any difference to the viewers?

The point is, either you believed Shashi Tharoor or you did not (At least the first few acts of this play were about him before the government machinery got into overdrive). There were three kinds of people viewing these events.

1. Those who believed that Shashi Tharoor was telling the truth.
2. Those who believed that he was lying.
3. Those who didn’t care.

Since the media didn’t bring anything which could be classified as a game changer or something which could be called a clinching piece of evidence, people who were in any of the above three categories stayed right there; no matter what new facts were brought to light by the media (People were suggesting that Tharoor may not have to resign if Pushkar surrenders the sweat equity but the moment she did that, BJP said that it was conclusive proof that she was a proxy for Tharoor).

Bottomline is that the facts don’t matter, what we perceive to be facts do.

Why I hate the movie Rang De Basanti

I don’t hate Rang De Basanti because it propounds violence as a means to make your point.

I don’t hate it because its ending was a total rip-off from The Boondock Saints.

What I really dislike about this movie is that it has given rise to a bunch of sanctimonious people who can alternatively be referred to as the “be the change” generation. The moment you say that there is something wrong with your college/country/pretty much anything else, these people are at your throats asking you to either raise it in a proper forum (only god knows what that is), or you would be told that either you should change the system or keep your mouth shut (Have they considered the possibility that there may not be a system left if each one of the 1.2billion odd people strived to change it).

So the rest of us are not allowed to whine about anything, but these people are allowed to whine about our whining. As it is a case of selective trampling of right to freedom of speech, I see shades of communism in these people.

Bollywood should not even try to make movies that have a message, and this particular movie tells us why.

Acer strikes back

The second visit to Acer was a little less pleasant as compared to the first visit, primarily because during the first visit I didn’t have the guts to entrust my laptop to them. Unfortunately I didn’t have the luxury of that choice this time around. There is only so much you can do with a laptop once you can’t even switch it on. And Acer has been kind enough to have just one repair center for the whole of Bangalore.

I gave them my laptop and I was asked to collect it later in the day. They promised to call me up and inform me once the power button was replaced, something they didn’t bother to do. I had neither asked nor requested them to call me once it was done, so why exactly did they make a commitment they had absolutely no intention of keeping is beyond me.

2 Hours Later

Anyways, I went back to collect my laptop. At times, I haven’t bothered to properly inspect my car once it has been returned by the service center, but somehow I didn’t feel that I could afford to make this mistake here.

I switched the laptop on (Thankfully the power button was working), but I just couldn’t click on the “logon” icon. I pointed it out to the person who had supposedly replaced the power button. His prompt reply was, “Sir, your OS is corrupted and therefore you are facing this problem”. WTF (Yes, I said that). Needless to state that this innovative piece of bullshit kick-started a brief exchange of words in which he tried to give all kind of bull explanations (I would much rather not repeat any of what I told him). Finally he made the mistake of trying to move from the realm of bull to facts.

He said that “I can prove it to you that your laptop’s operating system is corrupt and this is the reason the mouse is not working“. Obviously I didn’t let this opportunity pass. It would take some serious amount of technical skills to prove that the root-cause of an issue like this is a corrupt OS, and frankly speaking someone incapable of replacing a power button properly (and which is incidentally his job) is unlikely to possess such skill.

I said earlier that he tried to move from the realm of bull to facts. Actually I was wrong. He had moved from bull to bull++. His new arguments were twofold.

1. He said that he had tried it out and that the mouse works properly in the safe mode and therefore my OS is corrupt. (WTF)
2. The power button had nothing to do with the mouse and therefore I shouldn’t blame him for that. (Yeah right. I give you a laptop that works, you return me one that doesn’t and I shouldn’t blame you for that. Fortunately for me, this clown had actually logged into my system and hence he couldn’t claim that it wasn’t working earlier.)
I asked him to prove that that the mouse works properly in the safe mode. He tried. Actually he kept trying for the next 5 minutes.

30 minutes later

He came back with my laptop, and it was working. I was informed that while cleaning the laptop, somehow one of the cables was dis-connected and this was the cause of the problem. I logged in and in my opinion I checked it thoroughly.

2 Days later

I couldn’t use the mouse to scroll. :D

One part of me wants to go back there and give them a mouthful. The other part of me is reminding me of an old saying in Hindi, “Bhaagte bhoot ki langot bhali” .